Berry Day 2

Well here I sit with day two and all my little list of things to do. Do you have days like that where it seems like you can't concentrate on your goals for all the things that keep getting in the way? I at least feel good that I accomplished one thing off of my bariatric list, The Chew really really slow and make your meal last 30 minutes goal. ever try to eat a ham and cheese sandwich for 30 minutes? LOL at least it was easy cuz Mom and I were at the park and we could sit and visit while I chewed and I chewed and I chewed. Try it, I wanna know if you could do it too. I did start this morning thinking I'll get a million things done I've got all this on my list, it's going to be an accomplishment kind of day and somehow or another I think God had something else in mind. He had in mind for me to work calmly and then be able to leave work and go attend to the things that are important, my health and my family. I can say today was good. Im learning to listen more from GOD and less from myself and learning more and more about my bariatric way of life as well. Tomorrow I shall try something new at least, new on my list.

Berry Day 1

Ever have one of those times when you are so excited about something that you fear it. I had that day today.
TODAY, 9-11-17

was my first bariatric appointment for weight loss. I've wanted to lose weight for a long time. I've tried everything from coffee drinks to diet pills that threw me in to the ER for heart palpitations.
THOUGHTS: Future Appointments for bariatric weight loss will be known as Berries. I trust Dr Brent Sorenson at St Luke's Bariatric Weight Loss. Thing is,  my PCP recommended the sleeve and after learning more about me Dr SORENSON said bypass.  He knows best  and I will research all there is to know about Gastric Bypasses. I've also been warned that not all people will agree with surgery and others who had it and didn't work at it will tell me not to and don't waste your time. There will also be those who think it's a copout.  I'm not losing the weight for them. I'm doing it for a healthier me.

Day 1 pre surgery weight: 230
Goal weight: 135-145
Quote of the day: Strength doesn't  come from what you can do it comes from overcoming what you once thought you couldn't do.

God's Peace and secure feelings to you always,  Love, "Sheri Bari"

What I've learned so far: 50 year old butterfly

Take time to read the above, "The Story of the Butterfly", so that my reflections will come to life for you. I feel you will find a bit of your own story there as well.

In deciding what I wanted to write about, I  thought about the things in life that were most important to me at this stage--this being my last calendar day of the first 50 years of my life.
I pondered whether to give you advice,  tell you about each year up to 2017, or compare my story to yours. Then I decided I didn't want to do any of the above because this is MY STORY, giving MYSELF advice , about things that I WONDER about and process. Perhaps, through my trial and errors, you can read along and find a piece or two that resonates for your life.

In the story above there was borne a new catapillar,  borne according to God's plans. Borne to this world on March 17, 1966. Borne a Dutch Irish, Swedish, German , Cherokee Indian.  Borne the youngest in a family of 5 in Lee's Summit, Missouri to an Electrician and Stay at Home mother who was actively involved in the lives of her children.

Each day she sought to see the beauty of the world. Nature amazed her, creativity became her, books intrigued her and human behavior interested her. Most of the time when she interacted with others it was a mutually pleasant experience.  But then there were darker days where her cocoon would be snipped upon and her trust began to wither. Men in her life would say things to her that scared her and one man, the father, did horrible things to her. Who did she count on then in her solitude? People had failed her, not once but many times in her home. She could have become bitter, instead she prayed for God to help her and He did. She began to enjoy life again and grew more beautiful in her cocoon of thoughts.

Like the other catapillars, there was a lot to learn.  School, sports, campfire girl, piano lessons,  art,  swimming, bike riding, gymnastics and reading gave way to many an opportunity to keep learning how to conduct oneself, protect oneself,  express and explore oneself.  She learned the art of manipulation, contemplation,  and isolation as survival tools. She celebrated,  cried,  turned her other cheek and fought to become the lady she later would need to be.

She grew up, moved out and fell in love.  Her counterpart began to notice her wings..at first they were developing full of color and straight as could be..that is until the storms began to spin her to a state of confusion. She needed something new,  something to live for and fight for again. God heard her tears, and gave her a cocoon of her own to hold. He reminded her of the man who snipped part of her sack and made it harder for her to fly. He trusted her to allow this new cocoon to grow. She did so well with her task that He sent a new butterfly to love and protect her. Their wings were alike, and their song was the same. They were united. She still wanted her own story,  her own flight. She learned from the new butterfly,  all the while helping the little butterfly to grow and spread wings.

The little butterfly's day came to stand at the edge of the house and take off in flight. The older butterfly was crushed and overcome with worry..had she raised her right? had she prepared her for the storms? did she remind her the beauty of her wings?

It took her a long time and she refused to fly again for years. She was sad, broken and lost. She asked God to make her new again. She couldn't hear Him the first time He spoke for all the clutter in her head.  He tried again, only this time through friends He sent to her and circumstances she walked through.  He cleaned her head out and gave her courage to fly again.

She began to stand up for what she believed in again. She felt the lightness of the air she breathed and the warmth of the sun on her wings. She was given a new purpose,  a task..given the ability to help others shine their lights and tear down their walls.  She was made new, though her wings remained bent just a bit, she didnt mind. It gave her the ability to always have compassion for the less fortunate. Her color in her wings were not bright, but this allowed her to be protected from the predators. Through the number of storms she endured, her strength was built. She could fly and teach others how to overcome their own storms.  She became the most beautiful butterfly in nature, in spite of the odds and the uphill climb. She became her own hero, she regained her own strength and it became HER DAY TO FLY and she still flies gracefully today.

This butterfly,  she is me! In the last 50 years of life I have learned to be strong and courageous.  I have learned when to count on me and when to ask for help. I can now own my own errors and stand up too for what I believe in. I can walk with grace and ride with fury. I have talent from my creator and He is the strength beneath my wings. I have other beautiful souls in my life that I can love, mentor, respect and grow with, I am blessed.

My life is rewarding because I want it to be. So many things that seemed so stressful and urgent in my life are no longer a hindrance to my inner peace.  I have grown.  Life isn't created solely for me, I have learned what it is like to be charitable, to give of my time or money. My life has deeper meaning the more I spread the love and peace and take time to listen to and cherish moments big or small that enter my path. I have grown.

Advice to younger me: this too shall pass and when it does you will rise above it with new understanding and strength.  Be patient with yourself, be kind to the young the old and the lonely. Seek relaxing and beautiful things every chance you get and never ever give up. You are wonderfully made and uniquely beautiful.  Go out and spread your wings for TODAY IS YOUR DAY TO FLY!!!!!

Happy birthday to me, the young me of yesterday and the old me to come.  May my wings always spread open wide and my flight take me to places where nature sings and hearts pound with love..for then I will know I'm still in Peace.
March 17, Sheri Dean Hart